last night

was a winner of a night. I wake up at 3am with a raging case of heartburn. Worst of my life. I lay there whining to Dexter for about 10 min then grab some water. Time is definitely not the healer of all things and it seems to be getting worse. At this point I've already googled "acid reflux home remedies" No, I won't be throwing back baking soda. Option 2: The website says stand up immediately to keep the acid from rising into your esophagus. Now, I'm sure you can picture me jumping out of bed thinking this is going to be the cure all. Not.  Next option- I got every pillow on my bed and propped my head up to keep the acid from getting into my throat. I've resigned myself to the fact I'll be up for a while dealing with this and yes (Seth), Golden Girls is already queued up on my laptop. After about 30 min of willing my heartburn to retreat I vaguely remember (maybe) having some Rolaids in a box I yet to unpack from my move. With a grand sigh of irritation mixed with hope I go to the closet. With a surprisingly short dig through the box there is small roll of Rolaids laying at the bottom. Pretty sure I heard angels singing. I (first thing) check the expiration date. 3/11. Win. The gods are smiling down on me. After gobbling down 4 chalky wonders I sit back and wait for the magic to happen. As I lay there I think "Would I really have not eaten those Rolaids had they been expired?" I surely hope I would have sucked up my expiration paranoia and eaten anyway. While I know I would have, I may have paused at least a second longer before popping those things into my mouth. Then, I think "Way to go Christina for purchasing the worst flavor in history." Am I really trash talking these small pills that just (I'm pretty sure) saved my life? Geez. So, as the story goes my heartburn finally subsides and I manage to get back to sleep around 4:30. I woke up this morning never wanting to see or taste another acidic food or beverage again. My throat and chest area feels so torn up that I barely have the urge to eat. Wow. Way to go stomach acid. It may be time to see a Dr.